Because I Love You
by crazy alligator
Summary: Oneshot.  Life isn't fair.  This is something she has come to know very well.  Was it fair that the only piece of him she had left was being taken away?  Rukia-centric, implied RenRuki.  Somewhat AU, no definite setting.


I got this idea earlier today and loved it to death. It's actually pretty angsty(REALLY rare for me...), but just hang on till the end, you will be rewarded. There's barely any RenRuki actually(Rukia-centric, with RenRu implied), but I wanted to present this to my target audience, which is, of course, RenRuki fans. Enjoy!

Because I love you

She walks, feet almost dragging along on the wooden floor panels that support her weight. The tiny bundle in her arms, thankfully, is confined to a peaceful sleep. She knows that the child's cries would make this all the more difficult. And he walks in front of her. The cold, stoic man she has come to know as her brother glides elegantly before her, escorting her to the place where she is to give up the blanket-wrapped baby which presently rests within her arms.

It is against her will. Every single fiber of her being is against this inevitability. But, life isn't fair. This is something she has come to know very well. She has learned the lesson through and through, because anyone she talked to would agree that what she has been, and is about to be forced through, is not fair.

Was it fair that she was forbidden to be with the man whom she had loved for longer that her memory could recall?

Was it fair that his death had occurred before she or he were even aware that his offspring resided in her womb?

Was it fair that the only piece of him she had left, their only child, her only child, the last love she had in this desolate world, was being taken away?

No, none of it was fair. She often wonders if a reason exists for this foul play. Was she a horrendous person in a past life, a cold-blooded murderer that showed no mercy, regardless of the circumstances? Or were she and he, and their child, simply crossed by the very stars themselves, and destined to be unlucky for all their days?

She doesn't know, and most likely will never find out. The child stirs, and she looks down to see lavender eyes struggling open, tiny hands trying to fight themselves out of the swaddle she was currently being held in.

"Shh..." she whispers soothingly, holding her tiny daughter close to her face, kissing the child's face softly while rocking her slightly. Eyes fall shut once more, and limbs grow motionless. She is relieved. Her baby does not deserve to be awake for this.

"Rukia, we're here," says a strong, blank voice, cutting through an atmosphere where, only seconds ago, the sound of footsteps was the sole existence. Her arms tighten instinctively around the bundle, wanting more than nothing to turn and run. But she knows it is futile. There are countless guards scattered around the premises. She would be caught, and there was no point in causing herself and the child more stress than there needed to be.

She steps into the room, the heavy mood accentuated by the emotionless men that stand only feet away. The very men that had decided this, had decided that her child was to be taken away as soon as the baby was able to be weened off of milk. Just yesterday had been the first anniversary of the infant's birth, and that was what these men considered the proper time of retrieval. They had deemed that having a child who was half gutter rat being associated with their clan was a disgrace. Not only that, but she was a bastard child, and the only thing seen lower than having a father who lived on the streets was having no father at all.

Rukia, herself, was surprised that she had not been banished from the clan as well, what with the fact that she had admittedly engaged in a sexual affair which was not only out of wedlock, but with a man whose social status was at the lowest level. The result was obvious. But she knew why. She knew why they didn't send her packing. A romantic tryst could be hidden. It could be masked and denied and outright rejected. A child could not. At least not for long. And they refused, even, to tell her what was to become of the infant. That was the worst part of the experience. She had no idea whatsoever how the baby's future would progress, though a nerve deep within her gut told her that their refusal meant only one thing...that the babe wouldn't have a future at all.

With every single muscle screaming against it, Rukia's shaky arms held out her precious daughter to the elder that approached her. He sneered down at the both of them, glaring in disgust as he snatched the bundle from her. No one knew whether it was the child's subconscious picking up on the loss of her mother, or just the body heat that had surely decreased from her side, but the room was suddenly filled with loud shrieks and cries. The baby's eyes snapped open, and her arms reached towards her mother in distress as tears ran down her small face.

Rukia felt herself begin to die inside. She had known that this day would come, that this moment would happen, and she had dreaded it, passing slowly through the days, the weeks, and the months, all the while hating herself for not being able to escape from the family's clutches. Not once, however...not once had she ever fathomed that the pain would be this great.

Suddenly, her brother placed a hand over her shoulder, and urged her to turn around and depart. She did so, her legs begging her to allow her heart control of her actions, to make her whip around and snatch her baby back from the man who had just taken her. But she continued to let her brain win, bearing with the fact that her heart was crumbling away with every loud screech that left the child's lips.

"MAMA!" came a shrill scream just as Rukia's form was departing out the door. The small woman stopped dead in her tracks, eyes widening to platters as an instant stream of tears flooded over her eyelids. This...it was not simply a distressed cry...it was a plea...a desperate plea from her only child, begging for her mother and her mother alone to come back and hold her once more, to kiss her and assure her that the bad men would never have the privilege of even touching her again. At that instant, Rukia's heart shattered into pieces, tiny, sharp shards that stabbed her insides, beginning with her chest cavity and then impaling her gut and throat. An instant later, she was moving, turning in the opposite direction to take back the precious life, but before she could even rotate her body fully, there was a sharp pain in her stomach, the feeling of a fist knocking the breath out of her as she began falling.

The last thing she saw before everything went black was dark, flowing hair and slate gray eyes.

* * *

><p>She snapped awake, unaware of how long unconsciousness had gripped her. Instantly, memories flooded her mind, memories of what had transpired just before her sleep, and the tears accompanied them. As soon as she moved, though, she realized that her crying was not meant to be a thing of depression.<p>

Rukia couldn't believe her eyes. Nestled tightly against her body was a tiny sleeping face, the very face of the baby whom she had cared for and loved since before its birth. Almost immediately, her arms enclose around her daughter, holding her closer than she ever thought possible, her tears now from a source of joy. They were together, alone, no one present to swoop her up and take her away.

It was only after the sobs dies down that Rukia bothered to take in her surroundings. She lay on a soft futon in a single room. Looking out the window from where sunlight streamed in, she was shocked to see a town, bustling with activity. It was only then that she realized she was in a small, cottage-like house. A house that was the perfect size for two.

In the room, she suddenly noticed a pile of objects. Upon further inspection, she realized that the pile consisted of bare necessities. Water, food, clothing. Atop the pile lay a note. Setting her child down softly, Rukia crawled closer, picking it up so she could inspect it.

She skipped over the actual message conveyed in the paper, her eyes dropping down to the signature. 'Brother.' It was simple, not using his formal title or name. Just 'brother.' Rukia felt more tears approaching, her gaze going further down to the extra bit of words at the bottom of the page.

'She will be fine. Any child of Abarai's is surely a strong one.'

And for the first time in months, all Rukia could do was smile.

END

I'm actually pretty pleased with this...again, I really liked the idea, and couldn't help but wright it. Bleach is owned by Tite Kubo, not myself, and I love and appreciate all comments and opinions!


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